| im so mad. so my stepmom left my dad, but no one in my family found it necessary to tell me (I found out from my stepmom's myspace). ive emailed my grandma asking about how they are because for the past three weeks they havent answered my emails, and my grandma just totally igonored my question. so as far as my family is concerned i know nothing.
they do this to me all the time. i dont know if its that they consider me too young to tell me anything or if its just too hard to pick up a phone or get on the computer and type, but im left out of everything.
im a fucking adult. i know im just nineteen, but ive been more mature than some adults since i was 12. i've been through things no one should have to go through. im living on my own in another country. i pay my rent and my bills. i'm grown-fucking-up. How long is it gonna be before i can "officially" know? how long will it be before someone can get the fucking balls to say anything?
|
| |
| EDIT::: why cant i let myself be happy? why do i try to sabatoge everything? its like i like the drama.
im going to america in a month. im so excited. im meeting up with my mom in san antonio because andy's car cant make it all the way to little rock i dont think. i cant wait.
from halloween ( i was a witch and andy was James dean.)
   |
| |
| EDIT: i finally feel semi-normal.
i'm so fed up with not feeling good.
i have not had a day where i feel normal in like 3 weeks. i have:
- a urinary tract infection
- food poisioning
- constipation
- sore throat
- runny nose
- migraines
that is too much for one person to handle all at once. im taking like 7 medicines.
well i shouldnt complain, im relatively healthy as far as i know.
|
| |
| today i went with my fiance's sister to a fashion show. it's drug and alcohol prevention week at her school, and i guess today was info about anorexia. i didnt know that, but before the fashion show began they were showing a slideshow of how bad anorexia/bulimia can get and there were girls backstage (so ppl wouldnt know who they were) sharing their experiences. these girls were bawling trying to explain to these people about anorexia, and how it really is a disease, and you cant just "stop" and start eating , and as i looked around me, people were laughing and talking among themselves and making fun of the pictures on the screen. i was appalled. i began to cry and walked out. no wonder people dont understand anorexia. they think that people just choose not to eat. well for me thats how it started, but its deeper than that. they dont know the struggle i go through with myself daily just to be able to eat.
god, im still so mad at all the ignorant people in the world right now. |
| |
| EDFITR::: haha im drink. at the diploma thinkg, they gave us wine, an now me and my futere sister in lasw are drinking martini and tequila and soon tobe vodka.
today my boyfriend signs his diploma. im not quite sure why because he doesnt get it till december, but whatever, im proud of him. he's 24. im 19. im ready to settle down. i wish other people could just understand that. im sick of people telling me im making all these mistakes. its my life. i know i'm probably making mistakes. let ME deal with it. |
| |
